A Glimpse of Story for Stronger Leaders
I was more nervous than usual. Every time I present my session, Story for Stronger Leaders, I always feel a healthy dose of anxiousness mixed with excitement. I share so much of my personal story to start the session off—who wouldn’t be nervous? But this time I would be leading conference attendees through exercises to share some of their own stories.
When I sat down at a table for continental breakfast the morning of the event, everyone seated together shared what we do for work, and where we were coming from. As they discussed what they were hoping to get out of the two-day event, I quickly realized my breakout session was one of the few that didn’t deliver on what attendees had specifically come for. They each spoke of their excitement to deepen their knowledge of their field in process or knowledge management.
I wonder if anyone will choose my session among the 5 or so others running in the same time block? I thought. Then my negative self talk crept in, And if they do show up, will they be disappointed? Will they think it’s too much? Too personal? Too… woo-woo?… or (gulp) irrelevant?
Despite my firm belief that our stories will save us from the rapid disconnection we are hurling ourselves towards in an ever-more-digital world, I feared judgment and embarrassment. I was judging myself and inventing a story in my mind.
I tried to override the anxiety with the excitement I was feeling. No matter what, this will be a learning experience.
Then we all made our way to the ballroom for the opening keynote session. As Dr. Shimi Kang MD kicked off one of the most engaging and universally resonant keynotes I’ve ever seen, my anxieties started to swirl and shift towards the excitement end of the spectrum. Dr Kang’s keynote helped me find the footing to carry me into the afternoon. Her message couldn’t have been more perfect as a foundation for talking about the power of sharing our stories to strengthen ourselves and our teams.
“We humans have forgotten what it means to be human. We have no time to play or connect…” she said, as she began to walk us through the medical proof of disconnection as an epidemic, with anxiety and burnout layered into the diagnosis. “When we see this stress at work,” she said, “we need to be empathetic.”
I left the event opener freshly charged with optimistic and deterministic energy for my task at hand. And before I knew it, it was time.
The room filled with eager faces and one woman turned to me as she found a seat, “We love sessions like these.” …a beautiful gift she didn’t know she was giving.
Deep breath in, filling my belly, then my chest and breathing out through my mouth. And then it I was in it…
“Human beings are not mindless machines following a programmed script, but rather breathing beings with a yearning for meaning and connection.” I quoted Stephen C. Hayes, author of a Liberated Mind. And we were off!
As I dug into my story, introducing Little Laura, I could feel the energy shift in the room. We were all children. We can all relate to the restraints of a society that encouraged us not to feel.
I moved further through my story, then discussed the science of story and how it helps us connect as individuals. How our brain is actually wired to help us do this.
Then the facts on why giving teams room and structure to share this sort of connection is so critical in every organization—
21% of employees are engaged at work (Gallup).
In the year following the pandemic 6X as many employers reported mental health issues among employees. (McKinsey)
Conversations outside of formal meetings are the most critical success factor for teams (MIT Human Dynamics Laboratory)
Social interactions improve team communications by 50% (Gallup)
…More and more information on how important it is that we connect as human beings.
If you need a rationale for why your company should start integrating story into your culture and processes—start with these data points. But as we saw in our session, the best way to open people up to the power of story is to help them feel it first-hand by prompting some in-the-moment sharing. I’d already shared my story. The signal that it was okay to be vulnerable was sent. But before we dug in, we officially and verbally committed to *this* space being a safe space, and leaving judgment out of the exercise.
“Find a partner and spend 5 minutes discussing these questions…” I prompted with two questions on screen. “Share to whatever level you’re comfortable with.” And then I let go of the reins.
The volume in the room turned up. People leaned in towards one another. There were smiles and animation. There were compassionate heads nodding. There was laughter mixed in with the beautiful sound of people speaking words with one another. Strangers one moment, opening themselves up to exchange trust and truths the next.
My purpose never felt more true—to unite people and inspire movement through shared meaning. Everyone moved closer to one another in that breakout session, closer to humanity through shared stories.
The feedback I received afterwards confirmed everything I thought I was witnessing. One gentleman caught me in a networking break and said, “It was unbelievable what you did. I shared one of the most personal things with a man I’ve never met before. And he shared an incredibly, deeply personal thing with me in return. It was amazing.”
These are stories we all have inside us. They’re all our own stories, but we are also connected through these stories. We all experience grief, love, triumphs, let down and shame. We just don’t talk about it. It’s not our cultural norm.
Now more than ever—a phrase that doesn’t convey the exponential weight of its true meaning here—we need to connect through our stories. We need more empathy. We need more connection. We need more humanity. We all need the strength our stories provide to ourselves and others.
The next morning I sat outside in the wind on the 18th floor of the Houston Westin, meditating high above a 12 lane highway. I thought of all the people enclosed in their cars below, stopping and starting in traffic, feeling rushed, frustrated and lost in the start of busy days in busy lives. And I thought how high above, at the level of the wind, I could see what they couldn’t from their separate cars. I could see the threads of their individual stories weaving them together into one beautiful picture of what it means to be people, together in today’s world. Threads that are unbeknownst to them. These are the Threads Of Me And You. Let’s follow them back to one another.
Want to bring Story for Stronger Leadership and it’s benefits to your team? Let’s engage your team with meaningful connection. Reach out: laura@meshinmovement.com
