Redefining Badass With Stories
I’ve never felt more exposed and vulnerable than I have in the last two years of opening up and sharing my story.
The night after I first shared my coming out story to a board of directors before then sharing it on a website fundraiser, I was filled with anxiety and self-doubt. The negative self-talk track in my mind usually shows up in the form of, “What if they think I’m weird?!” I usually also say this out loud to my husband even though I know he gets so annoyed hearing it, giving undeserved respect to the negative thinking. I know it bothers him to hear that I’m putting myself down at the most significant and defining moments of progress in my growth journey.
It’s in those boundary-pushing moments that I question the step forward, over the barrier I haven’t trespassed before. That’s when my ego triggers fears of shame and preemptive embarrassment, “helping me'' save face.
And every time I hit “publish” on one of these personal shares, after a long hover over that definitive click, an immediate sinking feeling washes over me and then my negative self-talk mantra… “What if they think I’m weird?”
Somehow part of me seems to cast “They” as some hard-ass superhuman norm in the general population that sees vulnerability as feeble and weak.
But the reality is, more and more people are sharing their stories, authentic struggles and triumphs. It’s in persevering through real challenges and setbacks that we actually find the most share-worthy stories. To talk about these stories and tap into their power for others to identify with, learn, grow and heal from, we have to share our vulnerability and expose the barriers we overcame. These brave storytellers are all rewriting the paradigm of what we share and how we share it,
It’s easy to see others who share their story as confident and sure of their strength. At least, that’s how I view anyone who puts their authentic story out in the world. But regardless of how I see others, I still get caught in the same old thinking every time I go to share a piece of myself. And that’s why I’m also surprised to get comments and notes from others that say, “You’re so brave…” or “You’re so inspiring.” And it’s especially why it sounds funny to call myself a badass–even though I’ve just joined the Badassery speakers network and sharing my story alongside an incredible group of talented and truly badass people.
Looking up at what I’ve just written about the self-doubt and fear that goes into every step of putting my story out in the world, hoping to create meaningful change within myself and others, it hardly reads as “badass.” But given the world we live in and the culture of what we share publicly, sharing our stories with candor, vulnerability, and thoughtful reflection is both hard and necessary… It’s the boundary-pushing badass thing to do. And everyone benefits–storyteller, reader, listener, audience member. We grow and heal from each other’s authentic stories.
Everyone has a badass story to offer the world. What’s yours?
