The Narrative You Inherited

Are you living your story or someone else’s? Is it the story you want to tell about your life?

We all inherit narratives. From the day we are born, we are brought into the stories of others. Our parents’ narratives and master narratives perpetuated by society and culture are the first influences that plant the seeds of our growth trajectory. For better or worse, the stories we are given determine much of our development as people and play a huge role in the course of our lives.

And the same can be said for the stories we inherit as employees of an existing company and its culture. The nature of these stories and their malleability influence our professional happiness and willingness to stay or change course.

And the same can be said for the stories of our communities, towns and cities. Our sense of place and the nature of the connection we hold to where we’re from shapes our identity and sense of self and belonging. The stories of our places, from a town level to the country we live in, can make us feel pride and/or shame, hope and/or despair.

So at what point do we stop and say, What is my story? All of it, where does it all come from? What do I want to keep? What is no longer serving me? What do I want to reject as inheritance? What can I do to reshape the narrative and create change that aligns myself, my company, my community and the world with the future I want to see?

At every point. Every single day is an opportunity to consider the story we’re telling by our actions. Knowing where you want this story to take you, having a purpose that is freshly articulated and serves as your north star is a great tool to help you stay on track, so long as it, too, is constantly evaluated and updated or refreshed to reflect the nature of ongoing evolution–as people, and companies, and communities, and places.

In my speaking session, Story for Stronger Leadership, I share my story of growing up believing I wasn’t the protagonist of my own life story. I lived the story I inherited since birth and didn’t question its merits in helping me fulfill my goals and ambitions until just a few years ago because I never had any goals or ambitions. I spent most of my life living to others’ needs, and expectations. And once I saw that, it was still so hard for me to make the changes that meant finally owning my destiny and taking responsibility for my life. Breaking outside of the narrative cycle we’re brought into is hard–whether you are a person, a company, a community or country.

But when I finally saw that I could be my own protagonist, when I finally looked at what I inherited and made decisions on what no longer served me, I experienced astonishing growth and development. It was the sort of healthy progress that comes from a much needed purge of unwanted stuff.

This is our opportunity everyday, to be intentional in the stories we want to tell in the future by deciding today what that future story will be and how we’re going to live it today.

This mother’s day, I made the commitment to myself and my daughters to make sure they know the power they have as the protagonists in their stories of their lives, wherever their lives take them. I’m sharing this sentiment past mother’s day because I believe we need to be reminded of this power in ourselves and we need to remind our leaders and teams, from companies to countries, that healthy progress comes from a much needed purge of what’s no longer serving us.

Every day is a good day to reevaluate the story you’re living today and the story you want the future to bring, and step into your role as a protagonist in that story.